Skip to main content 
Non-Fiction

When You Can’t Keep Your Cards Close to Your Chest | On Clouds

In die Karten geschaut | Von Wolken
May 11, 2021 | By Uljana Wolf | Translated from German by Sophie Seita

Was the cable car in reality a fable car, in which someone could travel into a bewitched or eclipsed country?

In die Karten geschaut

 

„look on my card“

wir wollten über diesen satz wie eine stadt uns beugen, punkt erzeugen, mundraum, traum vom hören, oder sagen: hier, in diesem netz aus zungen, ist ein weg gelungen, ein versehen, verstehen. auf unseren stirnen, die sich fast berührten, klebte lingua franca, schon legende: you are here, ich bin who, ein routenspiel, doch was wir sprachen, kam nicht an. die roten linien schnalzten, rollten sich zurück in ihre eigenen namen, kamen mit den griechen chartis, carta aus italien und karte, also mir: sieht aus, als wären wir hier. my almost true friends. so fanden wir, mit falschem wort, den ort, und falteten den rest der stadt, nach art des landes, wie man sagt, in mappen ein.

(Uljana Wolf: falsche freunde. Gedichte. kookbooks 2009, S. 85.)

When You Can’t Keep Your Cards Close to Your Chest

[click here to read]

 

On Clouds

Ladies and Gentlemen, I once invented a form that I called guessay, a kind of undercutting of the essay in its attempt to be an attempt. The first one I wrote in New York in 2007 as a commentary on the translated poems of Christian Hawkey, translations I worked on jointly with Steffen Popp. If you look up the contemporary English verb guess, you may—led by the Middle English gessen—take a seat somewhere between estimate and aim and must be cautious not to mistake the past tense guessed for its homonym guest. But, for years, my texts have made themselves at home in precisely this confusion, like in the swaying gondola of the guessays, a cable car which carries my texts toward forms, languages, and countries as guests, which would mean something like never being quite steady and yet being held ready within the other, empathically and potentially, everywhere. As if the possibility to be one thing and also another were a basic right, which I attempt to exercise not just in translation (poetry with a target language) but also in poetry (translation without a secure target language).

I mention the guessay mainly because I hope a well-aimed mistake may release me from having to introduce myself to you. Could I maybe diffuse myself? It wouldn’t be far-fetched to diffuse yourself when you’re from a country that no longer exists. You’d then live in disparate times, as it were, with a never fully received memory and a never fully delivered moment of the present. In this transition zone, there would be receivers who know nothing about their senders, and senders who’ve lost their channels—an inestimable number of beginnings, puffy, open, unsettlingly familiar, like gondola-shaped clouds.

This country that no longer exists was actually two countries. I’m from the former German Democratic Republic (East Germany). Because of the bilingual German-Polish title of my debut collection kochanie ich habe brot gekauft (kochanie, i’ve bought some bread) some readers thought I was also from Poland. A mistaken guess. And yet, the Poland-I-was-never-from could also exist. It would look like this: my Silesian grandmother, a young teacher, her green-seersucker-wrapped silverware tucked under her arm, turns around one last time before she leaves, behind her father’s little railway cottage at the knee of the Oder, then she hands her keys to the recently arrived Ukrainian grandmother of the Canadian poet Erín Moure. They have a quick cup of coffee; they read ecumenically from the coffee grounds and write a postcard in the Chachłacki dialect to the mother of the poet Eugeniusz Tkaczyszyn-Dycki who’s in Przemyśl, a county on the border between Ukraine and Poland. Strangely enough, all these lives, these lines of flight and new beginnings, coalesce in the texts which I write and translate in constant dialogue, as if poetry were an archive of inestimable and unsettling beginnings, or let’s say maybe a post office for translational dispatches of any provenance.

And then, recently, after a midday departure from Berlin Tegel to Vienna, I noticed from the air for the first time the exact curlicue shape of the East-German Plattenbau in which I grew up. Right by the green fluff of the Wuhle, a small tributary of the Spree. Surprisingly clear and even somewhat beautiful in its not quite closed circular form, like a curled index finger or a Voynich script amidst similar scripts. I was only able to identify the housing complex because of the white lookout tower which hovers over the treetops of the nearby Kienberg hill, visible for miles, and which they named ”The Cloud.“ The hill was made of construction debris from the big Plattenbau estate Kausldorf-Nord, which was begun in the year of my birth, 1979, in East Berlin. The unlikely viewing platform “Wolke” (“The Cloud”) was added to the hill during the International Gardening Exhibition in 2017, which also gave it a gondola lift and Berlin’s first summer bobsled track.

In 2018, following my return to Berlin after my ten-year commute to New York and en route to Rome, I was floating upward inside the gondola for the first time, over the foothills of Marzahn Park, also called “Gardens of the World,” and over the exposed pipes of East Berlin district heating, flashing in the sunlight, up and up toward “The Cloud,“ on whose highest point the gaze of the amazed observer may rest on a sea of identical tower blocks. I suddenly had the distinct feeling of being translated into a rewound sci-fi film. I still don’t know why. Was the cable car in reality a fable car, in which someone could travel into a bewitched or eclipsed country? Was my private little Kienberg, whose shard-filled soil often cut my knees as a child, which is why it was also a Knee-berg, secretly always already in the center of the worldly garden? Or was it because I had written my first poems sitting by the Wuhle, leaning on the distant district heating of Gertrud Kolmar, Else Lasker-Schüler, or Inger Christensen? Because here in the shade of the Schweriner Platten, to speak with Walter Benjamin, “I learned to disguise myself in words, which were really clouds?” And was I therefore not really propelled into “The Cloud,” but into my own word-disguises? The guessay only knows. I thank you for the great honor of letting the passenger of this gondola drive all the way into the academy.

 

Inaugural Membership Lecture at the German Academy for Language and Literature, Biel 2019

 

 

 


Image by Antonio Carrau.

Author
Uljana Wolf

Uljana Wolf is a German poet and translator. She published four books of poetry in German, exploring the poetics of translation and the ever-shifting space between language, as well as numerous translations of poetry by Erín Moure, NourbeSe Philip, LaTasha N. Nevada Diggs, Christian Hawkey, Eugene Ostashevsky, Eugeniusz Tkaczyszyn-Dycki, and others. English translations of her work appeared in four chapbooks and in Subsisters: Selected Poems, translated by Sophie Seita (Belladonna* 2017). Her latest publication is a collection of essays and talks, Etymologischer Gossip (kookbooks 2021), from which the two short pieces are included here. (Photo credit: © Villa Massimo Alberto Novelli)

Translator
Sophie Seita

Sophie Seita is an artist and educator working with text, sound, and translation on the page and in other media. She’s currently translating Uljana Wolf’s selected essays, Etymological Gossip: Essays and Lectures for Nightboat Books (forthcoming in early 2023). She’s an Assistant Professor at Boston University and co-organizes the Sound/Text seminar at Harvard.